How to deal with a stubborn person

It has been a long time since my last up date, almost 2 months. Actually i always work during my semester holiday but this time because of the world economic crisis may be, it was hard for me to find a job. i just spending most of my times watching TV and reading. Those books that i'd read were very interesting, i will share what i had learned later. Here, i will continue to talk about dealing with difficult people. Stubborn people!

Sometimes its good to be stubborn depend on the situation and intention. but being extremely stubborn, selfish and ignore others feeling is bad. i got a story to tell here, it always happens!

While Ali was working hard on an assignment due in two days, he got a call from one of his friends on his cell phone. As he was really busy but about to finish the assignment, he decided not to answer now and call his friend back in ten or fifteen minutes.

A moments later, Ali's mobile started ringing again: it was the same friend calling. Ali didn’t reply for the second time too. When his friend called for the third time, Alli switched his cell phone off without replying and decided that he would not answer anyone else's phone calls for the rest of the day.

Although Ali finished the assignment 10 minutes later, he decided to keep his phone switched off so as not to allow anyone to call him!!! But wasn’t he intending to call his friend after he finishes his assignment? Even though that was true in the beginning, his friend's insistence on calling him triggered Ali's stubbornness and so he decided not to answer calls for the entire day!!

A stubborn person is someone who refuses to change his mind about an idea or an action that he is about to take. He also refused to give a clear explanation or reason for his resistance. The main aim of including the above story is to show you that a stubborn person may not always be stubborn, but there are things that could trigger his stubbornness and so cause him to become even more fixed on his own point of view while refusing to even consider someone else's.

In a book i read, there are 3 main reasons for a person being stubborn. While the following reasons can possibly make someone behave stubbornly in certain situations, there are also people who are stubborn by nature and so would resist change regardless of the situation.

• Defending his idea: Some people tend to feel that if their ideas are abandoned, then they are unimportant!! They identify themselves with their ideas and so feel that their identity will be threatened if people aren’t convinced by what they are saying.
• Feeling that people are taking his opinion for granted: Some people tend to think that other's take their approval or consent for granted and so they try to hold on to opposing opinions just to have themselves taken into consideration even if they were convinced that what they're saying isn't right.
• Having a reason that he can't reveal: Sometimes a stubborn person may have a strong reason for refusing to change his mind but be prevented from declaring this reason out of shyness or any other compelling reason.

In How To Influence People, the author stated very simple ways to deal with this types of people, simply by:

• Don’t keep insisting and be flexible. As you saw in the above story, insisting may result in a counter-productive effect.
• Try to understand the reason behind that person’s stubbornness and encourage him to speak honestly since after all, he may have a point.
• Every now and then make him feel that you are taking his opinions into consideration.

Everyone hates how stubborn people refuse to give up their ideas or intentions. If you are a stubborn person, try to provide a convincing reason for refusing to change your mind and if you don't, gracefully admit that you were wrong.

I got a good tip here, if you were in a relationship with a stubborn person then by just triggering his stubbornness you can motivate him to love you more. By just telling him that people think that your relationship will end soon he will do his best to prove them wrong and so he will love you more.;)

How to deal with difficult people?

A positive thinker must always see the best in others. If you always see the best in others, you will be happy to work or deal with everyone. Hating people only wasting your energy and make you depressed. Practice this; smile, say hello, call the people with his/her own name, and ask how are they doing today? By doing this simple things, believe me you will happier and energetic, in addition you may get new friends.

However, in my life i have had faced many people that i think really difficult to be dealt with. They never accept others ideas, in other words we must follow them, some of them only give critics and want to spoil our plans, the worst was when they asked other people not to join or help us. Most of these people actually failed to get what they want because of their attitudes and as the result the become worst. Some of them i found just want more attention, and try to show leadership in a wrong way. I tried to see the best in these arrogant people, learn the reason why he was being so arrogant and felt very superior. once i knew the reason, I felt pity for them, but i could not just follow them.

Have you faced such people? You want to deliver your idea, but because you afraid of them you just keep it, or you got a better idea but you must follow such people ideas because they act more superior than you.What you should do to make these people to follow you and get impressed with you?

Urmm, I tell you why people become arrogant. It is the first step to understand them before you dealing with this type difficult people. What is arrogance? Arrogance is a defense mechanism used to prevent further criticism. If someone had very bad childhood and if he was hurt by others he may develop arrogance in order to prevent further criticism from hurting him, the trick usually works, because if someone criticized him he can simply devalue him and assume that he is worthless.

Arrogant behavior can be a result of feeling neglected. If someone felt that he is not getting all the attention he deserves, he may unconsciously become arrogant just to attract some of the lost attention.

Arrogant people are single minded, they either think that they are superior to others or inferior to them. This arrogant person who is intimidating you feels inferior to someone else because this is how his mind works, this arrogance may be nothing more than a way to cover inferiority he experiences when dealing with someone else.

Dealing with an arrogant person is much easier than you think. Just treat him as if he is not superior, I am not asking you to ignore him, just treat him as if he is like the other normal people and this will be enough to let him avoid you. The arrogant person is carving for attention so if you ignored him you will remind him of his old wound and this will let him forget about his superiority when dealing with you. Impressing an arrogant person is very simple, just convince him that you can do something that is of importance to him better than him and he will become impressed.

That what i always do when dealing with them, and most of the times it really works and i even can be friend with them in the end.

Actually there are many types of difficult people, I will write about them in my next article.

Hard Life Simple Mind.

Why Hard Life Simple Mind?

I should write this on October 18, when i started this blog. 3 months a go i got a blog titled brain stew(no longer existed) because some technical problem i had in changing it's layout. It was a lost for me because, i got #1 position and appeared in first page in Google Search for my targeted keywords, with the fact that i never knew what SEO is, i only realized it when i deleted the blog. I found this blog still hard to appear in first page of Google Search.

Hard life but Simple Mind

Why i named this blog hard life simple mind? Our life is hard, there are a lot of problem, small or big. in fact, sometimes we do not realize that some matters will cause us problem. In love or relationship for instance, there are many many problem can arise without we notice, such as openness and honesty:
we may think that. being honest is enough, just tell the truth when your partner ask and not lying to them is sufficient in safeguarding your relationship, read my article about it and you will know why, honesty alone is not enough. If you are an over sensitive person, you may get hurt easily by the people words, but the sad thing is you did not realize that you are an over sensitive person. So were the people around you, they may not realize that they are dealing with an over sensitive person, that their criticism will give the over sensitive person a hard-to-heal-emotional wound. Read my article about over sensitivity to find out more. You may think that your life is as smooth as yopu plan, but sometimes it is not. i share a lot of tips, to overcome your problem in life and make you realize that sometimes a small issue may cause you big problem.
Why mind is simple? i read about and practice mind power a lot. I just found that our mind is really simple, friendly to the user, but at the same time very powerful. Once i watched a David Blaine program, he said he only used 17% of his mind power to stay in cold water. In a research i read, most people only use not more than 10% of it's full capacity. what happened if we use 100%? can you imagine? Why your mind is simple but powerful? If you asked the most successful person in your place, What do we need to be successful? Most of them will answer your desire,determination, confidence and believe in your self etc, the almost same answers always. They will never give an answer such as; you need a degree/master/phd or money or supportive family or talent etc.
So where the desire,determination, and believe come from? YOUR MIND! It's very simple but your mind can be the source of everything. Just think big and positive i believe there's is always something for you, if not money or rank may be it's happiness. Very simple isn't?

However you must remember, aw what John C. Maxwell, a famous writer in his book, Your Road Map for Success, said, A person with positive attitude but have no dreams will be stagnant and never develop in life, but a person with dreams but have no positive attitude will only be a daydreamer.

Hard life Simple Mind

why do things never work for you?

why you always fail? disappointed? you try very hard but still didn't reach your goal.. well, i just want to share stories of great peoples that learn from their failure to get more..

Thomas Edison failed nine hundred ninety nine times before he succeeded at inventing the lamp. On the 1000th trial!!! When he was asked how he managed to continue trying in spite of failing all those times, he told them: "Whenever it didn't work, I would never say that I failed. I just say that I've found another incorrect way to make the lamp".

Another story regarding sports, it was previously thought that a man can never run a mile in less than 4 minutes. That belief was there for years, that no one ever dared to doubt its correctness. That was until Roger Banister proved that this was not true, by running a mile in less than 4 minutes. Just after that in the same year another 37 runners broke the record, followed by hundreds later.
What's interesting here is that if anyone of those runners had tried hard enough before Banister, he could have done it. But they all gave up to the belief and didn't try enough times because they thought trying was useless in this case. "Why bother with something impossible ?" they thought.

More examples: Henry Ford lost all of his fortune 6 times, and each time he did bounce back and rebuild his empire.
Walt Disney's idea of creating a cartoon character called "Mickey Mouse" was rejected more than 5 times, until he managed to find someone who supported the idea and then Mickey came to life.
English novelist John Creasey got 753 rejection slips before he published 564 books.

Actually, i feel very bad because earlier today i failed to answer my exam paper according to what i'd expected. i didn't know how to answer a question that should be given me 30 marks. That caused a lot to my result, i don't even sure whether i can pass that paper or not. i was totally disappointed that's why i read stories about people that learn from their past failure, i hope i can learn something from this mistake. Billy Lim, Writer of the book Dare To Fail said, 'you will never be successful unless you had experienced the failure.' Think about it!

The Easiest Way To Get Self Confidence

I got this tip from my Email sent by Noel, i publish his story in my previous post. He give me a tip to be more confidence, about self image, and I'm sharing it here, thats what the tips suppose to; help people!

Your self-image is the mental blueprint you have of
yourself.

This blueprint lays the foundation for where you are going
in life.

You won't be able to rise any higher than your self-image,
so this is the place to begin, so that you will have enough
confidence to move forward in your life.

If your confidence is low right now, it's sometimes easier
to focus on your outer self in order to improve your inner
self and get more confidence.

Take a look at your wardrobe. If you usually dress very
casually or even sloppily, try to upgrade.

If you always wear jeans, wear some black pants once in a
while.

If your shoes are very scuffed and dirty, get some new ones.

If you are female and never wear a dress, consider getting
a comfortable everyday dress and try wearing it once a week.

Even making a small improvement in your wardrobe will boost
your confidence; people will notice and compliment you.

Another thing is to improve your physical surroundings.

No, you don't have to start subscribing to Martha Stewart's
magazine. But if you take care to have a tidy desk, you
will feel more at ease and be more productive, which will
boost your confidence.

Set aside half a day or an entire day if you need to and
purge the clutter in your immediate surroundings.

Clean out your car too if necessary.

All of these suggestions are things you can do instantly.

They require little or no money; they don't demand that you
first lose weight or get in shape.
Look for other instant ways to improve your surroundings
and your world.

well, i guess you got to have more self discipline to practice the tips, but it's easy and practical. What do you think about the tip?

First Step In Becoming More Confidence

What is the first step should be taken to be more confidence of yourself? I'm not giving any tips in this post, but i want to share a story of Noel, one of my Email pal about the first times he received a huge dose of self-confidence. i believe you will find something in his story.

I remember one of the first times I received a huge dose of
self-confidence.

I was a shy kid and never raised my hand in class. Without
fail, my teachers would mention this on my report card and
during parent teacher conferences.

One teacher even insisted on a reward system. Every time I
raised my hand in class she'd give me a plastic coin. After
accumulating a certain number of them, my mom bought me a
stuffed dog.

That all changed in fifth grade. My teacher was a
laid-back, caring woman from New Zealand. I loved her
accent and always felt at ease in her presence.

On my report cards she didn't give me low marks in the
class participation section. I can still remember the
relief I felt...even more, I felt proud of myself.

Knowing that a teacher was OK with my personality the way
it already was gave me significantly more confidence.

Accepting yourself for who you are...rather than for who
you wish you were...is a necessary first step toward
becoming more confident.

It's nice when at least a few people in your life can help
give you a boost, like my teacher did.

But even if they don't, remember that people only have as
much power over you as you let them.

Don't give your power to others.

See yourself as significant and worthy.

You're as good as anyone else.

So how's the story? You are as good as anyone else! just believe it.. my advice here is maybe you should believe that you can do something better than anyone else! Like Mohamad Ali words,' I'm The King Of the World' why he said so each time he won a match? just to boost his spirit and confidence.

Dealing With Your Over Sensitive Friend

I have discussed about over sensitive person and how to deal with your own emotional sensitivity. What if, you are not over sensitive but may be your friend, partner, parent or people that important to you are over sensitive? As i told you over sensitive persons are fragile and must ' handle with care', they may not beat you if you not handle them with care( hurt them) this is because most of over sensitive person hate physical approach or violence very much. One fact that you should know that their emotional wound are hard to be healed, they may hate you for a long time, may be forever if they are an extreme over sensitive person;)
If you have an over sensitive partner and you didn’t get the idea that he is over sensitive many problems may arise, and this relation could even end up with your partner being broken.

If you want to win the over sensitive person as a friend or if you want to keep your relation going on with your over sensitive partner then follow these guidelines whenever you communicate with him/her:

• never be harsh: the over sensitive will do his best to avoid harsh people, if you do shout a lot or if you are a little violent in dealing with people then make sure that you wont get along with the over sensitive.

• make minimal critic comments: well I didn’t say avoid criticism at all because I know that sometimes it becomes a must however do your best not to be constantly criticising the over sensitive person, the more you criticize him the more he will avoid you.
• never use physical violence: when it comes to violence in physical activities the over sensitive will not only do his best to avoid you but he may hate you too, even if this violence were some sort of kidding still the over sensitive hates using hands or legs even when playing.
• be a nurturing partner: the more kind and nurturing you will be the more you will be loved by the over sensitive person.
• be more Romantic: the over sensitive thinks with his emotions when it comes to relationships, the more romantic you become the more the over sensitive will love you.

How to know that your friend is an over sensitive person? Other than finding your partner getting annoyed frequently because of small causes and other than finding him hating criticism, he/she may excel in art or poetry.

Dealing With Your Emotional Sensitivity

How to deal with your emotional sensitivity? If you feel sad because your emotional sensitivity is causing you much pain in your life, you may get relieved to know that it's very easy to use the advantages of being overly sensitive while the same time increating barriers that can diminish the disadvantages of being over sensitive.

First of all, do you know that being overly sensitive makes you have the following:

• Increased empathy: have you ever felt sad without any apparent reason by just sitting with someone who was sad? do you feel depressed when just sitting beside a depressed person even if he didn't talk? Probably yes and this is because you have increased empathy, you can know how people around you feel without having them say that.Empathic ability is a normal ability that each human being have but the overly sensitive person have got much higher advantage in using this ability.
• You will experience happiness more than the normal person experiences it because emotions get deeper to you than other people
• Usually sensitive people are very creative and that what can make you excel in your career or even make you develop good habits like drawing or writing poetry. Lots of artist are sensitive people
• Experiencing religious related emotions may be higher for the sensitive person than its for people whom are not sensitive, this may cause the emotionally sensitive person to commits to religious activities,to become more connected to religion relative to others or even end up as a religious leader

All of the previous were the advantages you have as an emotionally sensitive person over others, now onto how to make your sensitivity have a minimal impact on your life:

• First of all know that the words that can hurt an emotionally sensitive person does not hurt unless he views those words as insulting, or as having the meaning that he is an unworthy person. So by changing your view of the criticism you receive can reduce your response much to being criticized. For example, when someone tells you that you didn't play well today at the match, this doesn't mean that you are a bad player, this doesn't mean you are a failure and this doesn't mean you are worthless! It's not the words that did hurt you, it's the meaning that you did tie to the words.
• This brings us to point two, what can cause your view of the criticism you receive to be that bad? Usually its your negative self talk, negative self talk are the words or the phrases that you use while thinking. example of negative self talk phrases are "I know why he said so, because I am a looser" or "I knew that I am not up to the standard that's why she told me so". Lacking self-confidence is one of the major factors that can make you have a negative self talk and so get hurt by anything that you hear. By building self confidence and changing your negative self talk, you won't be removing your sensitivity but instead you will be changing your perspective of what you hear and of criticism and so you won't get hurt.
• Giving up perfectionism, perfectionism is the way of thinking that considers life is perfect and that you should be perfect in turn, based on that you may think that all people should praise you, that everyone should say good and encouraging words to others, that everyone is kind .....etc. This kind of thinking causes you to get hurt whenever you find that life is not as you expected. Face the reality and know that perfectionism is a bad and unrealistic of thinking .
• Finally you can use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy(CBT ) to change your method of thinking and so avoid triggering your sensitivity. CBT is a method of therapy that is very easy to apply, it's based on the concept that your emotions are triggered because of your way of thinking and so by changing your thoughts you prevent triggering those unwanted emotions.(i had written on CBT last month, find it, very useful one)

i hope this article will help any over sensitive person out there, just believe in yourself and change the way of thinking and can be really helpful, i strongly suggested that you use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy(CBT) as it really easy and efficient.

Life Of An Over Sensitive Person

Over sensitive people are more likely to have bad moods, to get depressed and to be moody because their mode changes whenever any small event happen. An emotionally sensitive person is like a fragile person, or a person who is labeled "handle with care". The biggest problem is that people don't have enough knowledge sometimes to realize that they are dealing with an emotionally sensitive person and so they may cause him lots of pain without realizing this. A good thing that you can do in this case is to use the technique called "locking the emotions" in order to extend the periods of feeling happy. This technique is based on a realistic assumption which implies that a great number of mood swings happen simply because we tend to persistently search and dig until we find something that makes us feel bad. So, stop doing that.

In a relationship, Over sensitive people have hard time getting over the persons they loved simply because they feel the pain that results from a breakup in an exaggerated way. In my past articles about recover from break up i told you how small actions like stopping listening to romantic songs, burning the old pictures and preventing yourself from visiting the places you both used to go to together can help you recover fast even if you were an over sensitive person.

In daily life, over sensitive person may easily get emotional wound that is very difficult to be healed. For instance, if you tried to put some water on a fresh wound you will feel pain, that’s because when we develop a wound we tend to become over sensitive to factors that didn’t use to harm us before, And the same goes with emotional wounds, being rejected by people around you, lacking self confidence and having self image problems are all examples of unhealed wounds that can make you over sensitive to things that others just don’t notice.

However, there are still many good criterias for an over sensitive person that others should know, first he feels people’s suffering more than anyone else and so in most cases he tends to be a nice and friendly person. If you know how not to hurt a sensitive relationship partner then he will be a very good choice, emotionally sensitive people are the least problematic persons around. In addition, emotionally sensitive people usually have creative abilities which sometimes make them excel at arts or poetry.

In sum, There are many ways that can help you deal with your over sensitivity but most of them root to one source, changing your way of thinking and your perception of situations. After all if you are over sensitive you wont feel bad when being hurt unless you have perceived the situation that happened as a bad one, if you managed to change your way of thinking you will be able to reap the benefits of emotional sensitivity and avoid its drawbacks. i wish to discuss more about how to deal with your emotional sensitivity in my next article.

Over Sensitive person

people should know if they are over sensitive type of person, some people that i have known trying to pretend to be tough, but deep inside they are very sensitive emotionally. they got hurt easily, thats the fact. those people that emotionally sensitive have trained themselves, i praised them for that. you know what, i used to be very sensitive in the past but from time to time I'm getting tougher. that's always my mind that help me to overcome this. For all the people that emotionally sensitive, First you must realize and accept the fact that you are over sensitive, and that your over sensitivity is unwanted in your life. only by doing so you can be tougher then, as i told you so many times to overcome a problem you must know the reason first.

Some people do not realize that they are over sensitive, they thought their emotions are stable and normal. Let me help you to find if you are over sensitive or not, just answer the questions below;

• Do you get hurt by some words or comments that are told to you about your personality?
• are you unable to tolerate criticism?
• Do you hate loud noise or loud music?
• Do you feel other people's pain and suffering more than anyone else?
• Are you slim or your body is smaller in size than peers?
• Do you stop for more than three minutes when you see an accident on the street in order to watch?
• Do you find it very high to tolerate high or low temperatures?
• Do you find it very hard to gain muscles by working out?
• Do you have lots of mood swings as a result of small events?

If your answer were yes to some of the previous questions then probably you are an over sensitive person. The life of an over sensitive person is much different than the life of other people, simple because the over sensitive person feels the pain in an exaggerated way and so has problems tolerating it. the over sensitve person forms anchor faster than anybody else, for example if he had a real bad experience in a place than his hometown , after he gets back he may hate the place as a whole because in that case he anchored the pain he felt to the place.

A book that i read defined over sensitivity as being over affected by an external influence that can hardly affect normal people, for example not being able to tolerate Constructive criticism that other people normally tolerate.

i got a lot to share under this topic as sometimes to the extent of a frustrating event, i still got hurt easily.. need more training i guess;)

Relationship: Openness or Honesty?

In relationships, some people hide small details from their partners just because they didn’t ask them about it, or just because they think that it might not be important to them. Those people think that they are honest and that they are doing nothing wrong but the problem that happens is that they ruin their relationships without noticing that they are doing something wrong.

These people mistakenly confuse openness with honesty, thinking that they are the same thing. Honesty is saying the truth whenever their partner asked for it, openness is saying the truth without being asked for it. that's the differences between HONESTY and OPENNESS in a relationship.

i tell you how honesty alone will ruin your relationship;

1. When partners hide information from each other intimacy is lost
2. When partners hide information from each other the bond between them becomes weaker
3. When partners hide information from each other people can use it against them
4. When someone discovers that the other is hiding something it usually hurts him
5. If one of the partners faced a problem because of not being informed about some small details his partner knew earlier, he will accuse his partner of hiding information

how can openness strengthens the bond between you and your partner? it may prevent outsiders from influencing your relationship. Becoming open is so simple, just tell your partner about whatever you are feeling and whatever happened to you even If you think that it might bother him or that it might not be that important.

Sometimes, factors that ruin a relationship is not because you are not being honest, but your a not sharing everything with your partner.It might be hard, but as the time passes, i believe, you will discover the beauty of openness and the tremendous benefits that your relationship will gain.

What Is Self?

What is self?

Who are you?

What are you about?

What are your core values and beliefs?

What do you love to think about?

Self is who you are inside.

You have to understand this self.

If you don't understand your Self, how can you have faith in
yourself?

How will you have direction in your life?

If you don't fully understand yourself, there are
hundreds...maybe thousands...of messages hammering you each
day from media and the people in your life. These messages
will define you instead unless you understand yourself.

You want to reach your destination rather than be tossed
about like a ship without a sail.

Start taking time to get to know yourself.

Learn to enjoy your own company.

And...dare I say it...fall in love with yourself.

Then you will have the confidence that will carry you
forward.

So get to know your Self.

Sometimes outside encouragement is helpful.

Growing to your Maximum Potential; How?

many people that I've known didn't reach their true potential because they under estimate their own potential, as the result, the accept any decision about their performance as the best that they can do.

i have a story about how other people make your life stagnant and do not grow to your maximum potential. this story is for example only; the life of Epoi
When Epoi was 15, everyone told him that he would never get straight A's in PMR(our local exam) When he became 17, everyone told him that he won’t get excellent results in SPM and would never get a place in a college. When he reached 19, his friends told him that it’s almost impossible to find a good job. When he approached 21, his close friend told him that he will never be a millionaire and has to choose between his career and his hobby because no one can keep both together. And when he became 22 , another person told him that there is another thing that he cant do and when he became 23 the same happened, it kept happening as he kept growing.
Epoi now has very well defined limits for his, skills, abilities and potential. The only problem is that he never defined these limits; the people around him are the ones who defined them for him. His friends, His family and his colleagues limited his potential, by convincing him that he can’t do lots of things.

you can see, how many negative words use in the story, the words that actually make epoi didn't grow to reach his true potential.

I didn’t say that one person was bad enough to fill Epoi’s mind with all these false ideas, but what happened is, each person convinced him that he cannot do one thing And the result was thinking that he can’t do hundreds of things!!

Now you may be asking, what if those people were right?
What’s really funny is, when someone tells you that something is impossible, its usually because he couldn't do it himself. i got a lot of examples, but i know you can find them yourself. It goes like this, if someone failed to do something he will tell you that its impossible, And if someone was unhappy he will tell you that happiness is an illusion. Everyone talks about himself and thinks that its the real world. thats it!

So what im going to do? Stop letting people define your potential for you. you are the one that controll your ability not them. you can just ignore the words, or tell them that you believe can be better than them or just take their words as a challenge, thats what i always do.

Self Discipline.

What is Self Discipline? self discipline is controlling your self and mastering your emotions in such a way that you may prevent yourself from doing something that you like for the sake of a future benefit , for example preventing yourself from online or watching Tv in order to have a good result in your exam. self discipline is positive attitude that we must have in order to reach our goals. if you had studied Economy before, you must be familiar with the term 'opportunity cost'. it is almost the same, if we want to get something we must sacrifice something. in short, self-discipline is going against your emotions and desires so that you can reach your goals.

Developing self-discipline can be done by practice, so the more you resist your emotions and take unemotional decisions the more disciplined you will become. Similarly, the more you let your emotions control the decisions you take, the weaker your self-discipline will become. You must build your discipline on an activity by activity basis and not in a general form. However, although your activities are separate, they still affect each other.

Simply put, developing self-discipline will let you achieve the goals that you have set yourself regardless of any other factors. Even though different situations and external circumstances will affect your mood, your emotions play no role in your decision making because you are disciplined. In addition to that, think of all the bad habits that you could kick if you develop and increase your self-discipline.

however, i know developing self discipline is far tougher than setting a goal itself. thats why i said, practice, practice, more practice. me myself not a self disciplined person in many things, self discipline is not a talent, it comes when together with work hard, determination, and willingness to sacrifice.

why am i writing this? just want to motivate myself to study;)

Motivation and Goal Setting

people need goal to reach their maximum potential. if you used to read motivation books, you must already known that success is all about reaching your maximum potential. the fact is, no one can achieve their dreams without setting a specific goals.

why would your mind bother to send you motivation signals while it finds that there is no reason for doing so. If you are going to sacrifice some of your resources like your time or your money you must have something big that you are after else you won't be motivated at all to do anything.

Not having goals is the worst thing someone can experience. Some people commit suicide because they don't know what to do here, they are bored and lost(sounds unlogic, but its true) Having goals makes your life challenging, full of events, and joy when you reach them.

It have been proven that people whom have written goals are much more motivated than people who don't have plans at all, simply because on writing your plan, you are telling your subconscious mind that you are serious about doing that activity so it will help you by making you motivated.

well, motivation and goal setting is a nice topic to be discussed, i have a lot of things to write. but im in real busy day now. i have to study for my final exam first then, i will share more with you about this topic soon.

recently, i talked about setting a SMART goal.
(P/S : i forgot to mention there, it is more efficient if you write it down than just setting it in your mind.)

why public speaking scares us?

well, tomorrow morning i have a presentation. its been a long time since the last time i spoke to the public, about 6 months ago. to be honest, im not a good public speaker. in fact, speaking in front of public is one of the things that im afraid of. now, im doing law and of course i must have good public speaking skills. although, im bad at it but i have a dream to give a speech to hundreds or thousands important people one day:) as we all know, dreams mean nothing without positive attitude, and problem will not be solved by trying to avoid it.

in order to solve a problem; first, we must find the reasons that caused the problem. i believe a lot of people fear of public speaking as much as i do. so im going to tell what are the reasons that caused this fear, so that together we can overcome this. usually your fear is caused by one of these reasons:

• you are afraid to get embarrassed, to forget what are you going to say or that you mispronounce some word.
• the second reason is just a conclusion that is based on the first one, you are afraid that people will laugh at you, whisper to each other while you are talking or get bored of what are you saying
• you are afraid that people may notice that you were afraid, sweating and shaky while talking
• you are afraid that people will think that you are not a good public speaker, not a confident person or even not a worthy person in case you didn’t perform well
• you are afraid that people think that you are less confident than you used to appear

maybe your fear is not caused by one of those five reasons. there are some other reasons; if you are a student then your fear may be caused by your lecturer rudeness, or may be there is a guy in the class that makes you uncomfortable etc. but those five reasons that i mentioned above is the root to you fear. tell me if you find other reason.

i used to convince my self, logically that no need to be fear(these people will not eat me lol) but it only succeeded at the beginning, the longer i speak the more uncomfortable i feel. why this method fail? this is because the fear is launched by your subconscious mind and it is difficult to handle manually.

some tips before final exam

i think all people know this, our life need goals; long term or short term. specifically this post for students that are waitin for their final exam. I believe its not too late for you to set a goal for your 'comin soon' final exam. if you are an uitm student, you still got about 10 days. anything can happened within this period of time. im goin to share some tips in setting short term goal. it is not only for your final exam but also for you entire life. people know that they should have goals in life, but how to set SMART goals? here are some tips:

• Specific : A goal should be specific and not vague. An example of a vague goal is like writing “I want to get a good result”. What do you mean by the word good? get 3pointer or just pass all papers? you should make it more specific.
  
• Measurable ; If your goals were not specific then most likely they wont be measurable. In order for a goal to become measurable you must have some kind of indicator that you can use to track your achievements. For example if your goal is to get CG 3.5 then it’s a measurable goal.
• Achievable: Your goal should not be very easy to achieve so that you feel like fooling yourself nor it should be very difficult so that you fail to achieve it. The goal should be challenging enough to let you use most of your resources to reach it yet it shouldn’t be an impossible goal. you should know your potential, if you got low marks for test or assignment, your carry marks are 15/40 then your goal is to get four flat.. is it possible for you?
  
• Realistic: The goal should be realistic, and what’s meant by realistic is that it should be something that can be done by a normal human being.
• Timely: Unless you set deadlines for your goals you will never become motivated to start working on them. Setting the deadline is the signal that your mind needs in order to start cooperating with you towards reaching your goals.

urmm.. i set my goal, how about you?

the deadline: final exam! start study now!

urmm.. time is running out, the clock ticks fast. most of the student at this state of time will stress, arghh! still not study!.. i got too much to study!, i dont even understand a single things! paper for this sem is difficult! im afraid i will fail!etc.. we always listen to such lines every night and day near the final exam. but you know the amazing thing is? most people saying such words before they start to study. they say, im not ready yet, im waiting for the mood to come... actually the mood will never come if you keep saying im waiting for the mood to study. it will only come when you are in real pressure.

for instance, 5 days before the paper.. you say, i feel like dont have any mood today. i will start study tomorrow. then tomorow, your friends ask you to watch movie, bowling etc. you go with them. at night you tired, but you still want to study so you take a book readin it for a while and feel sleepy ;your mind say, urmm there is still time: tomorrow! tomorrow you sit at the desk reading books but there are so much noise from your friends and the TV, they distract you and attract you to join them. urmm, only for a while.. there is still tomorrow. im not in the mood today:) so tomorrow, 2 days before the paper you dont have enough time to think about the mood anymore. you are under real pressure. so you study the whole night without having the mood to study.

you can make your own decision when to study, but if you waiting for the mood it will never come. so dont delay your study. you know what, thinking the reason not to study is tiresome, more than studying itself.

Getting Rich Quick, Is it possible?

Whenever I read an article or listen to someone’s opinion about getting rich quick I find the same answer, Getting rich requires lots of hard work and patience. Those people I read their opinion are well known for their wide experience and for their tremendous success with money and that's what made me believe in what they said. Lots of well educated people and lots of successful business men regard getting rich quick as a popular myth. So is that true? Can’t any body make money quickly? Aren’t there any billionaires below The age of 40?

Unfortunately, it seems that everyone says that it’s not possible to make money quickly even people who already made lots of it. So let’s face the truth, we are talking about something that no one ever did before......hmmmmm.......no one? Let’s test that belief together

Meet the Exceptions

Name: Sergey Brin
Age: 34
Net Worth: $18.5 billion
Source: Google

Hmm, well, looks like that guy was an exception to the rule, after all no one can develop another search engine like Google so maybe it was just luck. The rule is still intact. No body can make money quickly.

Name: John Arnold
Age: 33
Net Worth $1.5 billion
Source: Investments

Well, this is really becoming embarrassing but seems like we have got another exception in here.

Name: Daniel Ziff
Age: 35
Net Worth: $3.5 billion
Source: Investments

Well, another exception, as we all know, every rule has got its exceptions.

Name: Kenneth Griffin
Age 38
Net Worth: $3.0 billion
Source: investments

Yet another exception, seems that our rule has got lots of exceptions, but anyways, the get rich quick mentality is still bad. Kenneth made his money from investing in the stock market.

Name:David Filo
Age: 41
Net Worth $2.0 billion
Source: Yahoo

Well, Another exception, no comment

I don’t want to make this article longer but I could have filled it with exceptions. Looks like there are lots of exceptions to that rule, and the good news is, they are all humans!!

Yes i am sure of it, although I am not much into anatomy nor genetics but I can still tell from the pictures that the above people belong to the same Species that we belong to!! Yes, they are like us, they are human beings!

They have got the same grey organ called the mind, they have got the same number of hands that we got, they eat when they feel hungry and they drink when they feel thirsty!

Don’t let someone fool you, you can become rich quickly and you can even become a billionaire before the age of forty because others already did it. Hundreds of them did it so why can’t you do it?

Its not that easy and it doesn’t happen over night but with persistence, hard work, innovation and self discipline you can become rich quickly and you will still have time to enjoy what’s left of your life.
those people are not better than you, they just believed that they could and thats why they made it. they have positive minds, big dreams, positive attitude, and hard work.. may be that differentiate them from us. i will discuss about this soon..

Making Money from the Internet

Do you want to make more money?
Do you want to make money without taking any risks?
Do you want to make money from home?
Do you want to be rich?

I know that you may be thinking that those questions are some kind of a hype but actually they are not, having an online website will provide you with the the Opportunity to start a business with zero risk, to work from home and to become rich if you succeeded in making a good website. If you don’t believe in this or if you are not convinced then just continue reading and you will discover it yourself.

Facts about websites that you may not be aware of:

• Facebook.com is making 50 million dollars a year and it was developed by a 22 years old guy!!
• Youtube.com was developed by three people and it was sold to Google for 1.65 Billion dollars!!!
• stevepavlina.com was made by one person and it generates 40,000 dollars of monthly revenues

There are many other businesses around that bring lots of money but the beauty of an online business lies in the following:

• Immediate Revenues: As soon as your website is ready you can apply for Google’s adsense service and start making money from the first day.
  
• No Risks!!: if your website didn’t make it then what are you going to lose? nothing, but you still can improve your site to be popular.
  
• Ease of start: what’s easier than starting to earn money as soon you finish your site's design? you can finish it less than one hour,
  
• Working From home: think of it, you don’t have to wake up early, wear a tie or wear a weird looking uniform. just sit in front of your pc wearing boxer or something.

What is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy(CBT)

i found this type of therapy is very easy to apply and it really works for me to recover from break up, for people dont know about this useful therapy, in this article i will explain it briefly
Cognitive Behavior Therapy idea is built on the assumption that your emotions are caused by your thoughts in addition to your perception of the external influence and so your behavior will be based upon your emotions, for example, if someone pointed a pistol at you, you will first think that if he did shoot then you are going to die which is perceived as a great danger and so you will feel afraid, so cognitive behavior therapy concept implies that it's your thoughts that causes you to feel afraid and not the external influence.

CBT is one of the fastest methods you could use to change many behavioral patterns and unwanted emotions by simply changing your thoughts. Some of your thoughts/emotions/behaviors can turn into a self reinforcing cycle that brings unwanted emotions into your life, for example, if you thought that you are a looser, and perceived this as something bad most probably you won't approach people the same way that you would have used if you didn't think you are a looser, and on approaching people that way, people may start to actually reject you, and so the belief of being looser gets reinforced.

What you can do here is use CBT concepts to break this cycle, by either questioning your irrational belief of being a looser or by acting as if you are not one. Both acts will break the cycle of reinforcement of the irrational belief. You can use CBT to deal with many unwanted behaviors like anger, anxiety, fear, being self conscious and even depression.

positive song that motivates you

last article i wrote about song that reminds you about your ex, and your failure at the past that make you feel even worse. i review the lyrics of my 'my immortal' by Evanescence, the negative lyrics that it contains givin you negative messages, and make your break up recovery process stuck and became slower. i also encourage you to listen to songs that will motivates you, give you new hope/spirit to make you become stronger. so here i recommend; "Stand My Ground" from the Band "Within Temptation". i include the lyrics here, hear the song yourself, understand the lyrics and i hope you can feel the differences.

I Can See
When You Stay Low
Nothing Happens
Does It Feel Right?
Late At Night
Things I Thought I'd Put Behind Me
Haunt My Mind

I Just Know There's No Escape Now
Once It Sets It's Eyes On You
But I Wont Run
Have To Stare It In The Eyes

Stand My Ground
I Won't Give In
No More Denying
I've Gotta Face It
Won't Close My Eyes And Hide The Truth Inside
If I Don't Make It, Someone Else Will
Stand My Ground..

may be it doesn't work to to motivates you, but its better than listening to song that bringing you down deeper and deeper.. but if it works, leave me a comment. if you dont know this song, the easiest way is find it at you tube of course..

Recover From Break Up, An Analysis of the Song "My Immortal"

this article continues from the previous article about recover from a break up. as i mentioned in that article, you should stop listenin to any music that reminds you about him/her. i used to do this untill i realize, listening to negative music would never help me recover.you want to know why?? here i choose this song to review,to make you understand it more. Personally, “My Immortal”, one of Evanescence's tracks, is one of my personal favorites, however before listening to my immortal or similar songs you should first prepare yourself so as not to be programmed or affected by its lyrics, otherwise, the ideas you recieve from that song will turn into beliefs that may impact your ability to recover from break-ups. The following are select lines taken from the song’s lyrics with an interpretation of the negative messages each one contains:

I am so tired of being here
( I am really feeling bad)

Because your presence still lingers here and it won’t leave me alone
( I will never be able to forget about you)

These wounds won’t seem to heal; this pain is just too real
( this pain will never go away because it’s too real)

There is just too much that time cannot erase
(Whatever happens I will never be able to forget about you because of
all of these good memories we had together)

I have tried so hard to tell myself that you are gone but though you are still with me
(I have already tried, but I failed, I will never be able to help myself)
(In summary: there is no hope, I will suffer, I will feel pain, you will never come back and I will stay broken forever)

These five very powerful negative messages are repeated three times throughout the song! If you like this song as I do, and if you hear it several times a day then you will be receiving loads of negative programming every day. These messages will affect how your mind deals with break-ups and so the next time you're broken-hearted, you will take ages to recover if at all.
By both, listening to songs like these, and trying to recover from a bad relationship you will find conflicting emotions within yourself, something that hardly helps you to recover.

You must understand the dangers behind these messages and carefully select the songs you listen to. Doing so will enable you to avoid any song negatively affecting your life without even you knowing it. keep listenin to song such as this, actually makes you feel more sad, hard to recover from break up, cant forget someone that hurt you tho' you really wanted to forget him/her. to recover faster, stop it and listen to music that gives you more spirit or encourage you to start a new life. i believe so, so wat do you think?

recover from break up: believe the truth

Whether you have really loved someone or wether it was just a light attraction you will be relieved to know that there is a normal process of recovery for breakups,this process can be either very long or very short depending on how do you understand the idea behind the recovery process. Having an understanding of the recovery process can make you recover very fast on just committing to some simple practice.

The first stage of recovery process is denial. It's where you start to deny that this has happened and you find that it's very hard to accept the new reality. you wonder why she/he treated you like this although you love him/her very much. The second stage is anger where you feel angry about what happened, having feelings of anger towards your old partner, the third person or even towards the whole world.

The third step which is bargaining is the most dangerous one of all. It's where you try to do anything to get that person back while you know that you can't. Maybe you try to go to places he/she used to go to hoping that you may meet him/her there by coincidence pr maybe you start to use music to remember the good memories that you used to share together. if you can cover this and just follow your heart, it will drive you crazy. Then you move to stage four which is depression a feeling that you really wish things are back again while knowing that they can't. A feeling of regret along with very tiny pieces of hope, maybe a 3% percent hope and a 97% lack of hope. This combination makes you know it's impossible and so you get depressed.

Most of the problems people have with relationships recovery lie in between stage three and four. They get stuck there, they try to do anything to get him/her back. Whenever the phone rings he thinks this may be her, or vise versa. The more you stay at this stage the longer it will take you to recover. The key to recover fully is moving into the next step, by accepting that what happened is in the past, and that only the future can be controlled. By accepting that someone else could fill this gap. By accepting that you can get along alone. By stopping using music to remind you of moments at the past, By not letting the small seed grow into a tree, but instead, cutting the water supply. by reminding yourself, why you should be depressed and act like crazy because of someone that don't even appreciate yourself?Only then you will stand again, if not you will wait until a new relation appears and this may happen years later.

why you cant forget someone?

have you ever been in situation, where you wanted to forget someone but you failed every time you try? the harder you try, the more pictures about him/her come to your mind. you found some other guy/girl, and like him. wish him help you forget your ex. but instead forgettin your ex, you remember him more. you just cant get rid of him. here i explain the reason for it. may be these are not accurate, but in a way you will find it true. If you still can’t forget about someone then most likely that one of the following will be the reason for that, read them well.

according to the psychology of falling in love if the best match mentioned above was found then for any reason the relation was terminated and someone else appeared in your life, you will always be in the mode of comparison between both, and the real problem is when the old one is a better match then the new one, in this case the new one will always lose the comparison and so you will feel that it would have been better if you were still with the old one.

• another major cause is when you just seek someone else to fill the emotional gap that developed after the first break-up, the second person will only be playing the role of a pain killer, he may be someone nice, elegant and so on, but still he is not the one, he is just providing you with the emotional support that you need
• one very common reason is when the person falls in love with someone who is a little similar to the old one, maybe he looks like him or maybe he talks the same way, whatever the reason is, your mind just falls in love with the other person because he is similar to the old one and so you unconsciously think that he may provide the same emotional support that the old one used to provide. In that case, comparison happens again and you will find that the old one still wins it.
• abnormal relationship termination is another cause, abnormal relationship termination is when the other partner suddenly disappears, either by cutting down the connection between you and him or by traveling somewhere else and then refusing to talk to you or resume negotiation, in that case you may find yourself still attached to him just because you can’t get a hold of him

you are what you are; dont feel bad when rejected

oncer i experienced break up, actually it was not the first time but it was the worst for sure. i felt a great pain inside, before that i was confidence that this would never happen to me. i become moody and keep listening to sad songs that keep reminding me about her. it seemed that i just could not accept what had happened. then i kept online to find tips to take this positively plus reading some books about psychology of love. then i really found some useful tips and i want to share it here to help others. to make they understand that break up is not the end of your life and they should take it positively. this article will help you about learning your self worth and not feel bad when being rejected.

People may hate or reject you for different reasons that does not relate whether you are good or bad at all. if you want to deal with rejection and get over it,It's time to know that your self-worth is something that is internal, even if the whole world rejected you, you are still whom you are. Don't change yourself to please others,because you will be selling your identity for acceptance. Be yourself and you will have friends and enemies just like everyone else.

But in order to be able to do that you must clearly know whom you are, and you won't be able to deal with rejection unless you have a written document of your strengths and weaknesses. You must know yourself, else people will tell you who you are. You must know what can you do before people create your borders for you. and of course you will then believe them, creating fake belief that limit your potential. Go now, document you abilities, document your self judgment and if someone matched your self judgment then they have got good insight else question his judgement abilities.

when you been rejected by someone, some people or even by the whole world, it feels real bad, You may not be knowing what to do, Maybe you started to scan yourself again searching for anything wrong within yourself in order to justify this rejection, or maybe you just labeled yourself a with labels like "looser" or "failure", or maybe you even became depressed

The shocking truth is the that main reason that can make you experience these bad feelings upon being rejected is thinking that your worth and your value depends solely on being loved and cared for. when we were children our culture and our parents taught us that we must be nice in order for people like us and that We must be good boys and girls so that mom and dad love us, so we grew up thinking that if people liked us and cared of us then we are good else we are bad or even worthless . We have tied our sense of self worth to others acceptance and so if we got accepted we feel happy else we feel down.

We know that the human mind can't rest until it have some reason or logic behind the external situations it faces, and that's why i will provide you with lots of reasons that could make somone hate you or reject you other than being worthless,those reasons will support you much on your journey for dealing with rejection. People could hate/reject you because:

• They are being jealous of you (of your achievements, of your looks, of anything)
• They are currently interested in someone else (if it's a relation rejection and that does not mean that you are bad,
  
• They are afraid of you
  (maybe they fear that you take their job, their Gf/bf whatever)
• Maybe because you ignored them without noticing
• Maybe because you did hurt them and they were emotionally sensitive
• Maybe because you have interests that conflict with their own interests.
• Maybe because you look like someone they don't like
• Their minds !! haltered is just a method that the person's mind uses to make sure that the he will stay away from the hated person(in this case it's you)
• even in interviews those reasons could be possible,after all the person interviewing you is not from mars,he is a human and he experiences the same emotions of hatred and jealousy that humans experince

That are possible reasons for people rejecting you. its not your fault if your face looked like criminal or bad guy. its also not your fault if your partner is too sensitive. its not your fault if your partner likes some other guy, i believed you will find the better one. whatever happened, you must have self confidence, then everything will be better for you. person that reali love you, will accept you no matter how terrible you are. it is an unconditional love. like a love from a mother to a son. so why you must change for the people that judgin you and hope only you satisfied their needs? just like the lion story, you will be left one day, no matter how far you changed.

why he pulled back?

in the previous articles i talked about the signs that some show when he likes you, so now i want to giving a reason, why someone that show all the signs make you feel that he likes you the suddenly pulled back? there are many reason behind this... have you ever been in situation as below:

Ever since the first time I met him, I felt that he was attracted to me somehow. Although I wasn’t sure of it, I just felt it. As the days passed he started to show more and more signs that he loved me until I was almost sure of it, however I still didn’t tell him that I felt the same.
Suddenly he changed and started to withdraw. I am really feeling bad and want to know why he did so. I want to know if he really loved me or if it was just my imagination. And if he did indeed love me, why is he pulling back now?

The previous paragraph is describing a frequent occurring event in our life: a guy approaches a girl, shows signs that he loves her then suddenly withdraws. Does this mean that he started to hate her? Of course not. Then what exactly happened? Below are the reasons for acting in such a way:

• Receiving No Response: When someone shows many signs that he is in love with someone else without getting any response or similar signs, he will start to feel hurt. Because of his dignity, he will feel that he has offered himself but got no response and so he may try to pull back. Testing whether this was the reason or not is very simple: you just have to have enough courage to take a strong step towards him/her and see what their response will be. Usually this strong step will encourage him/her to resume the positive signs again.
• Feeling that he/she Revealed too Much: This reason could be a special case of the one above. In that case, the person feels that he showed how he felt too much in a short period of time even though he is still not sure about the feelings of the other person, so as a counter measure he starts to pull back and even show negative signs, hoping to wipe the effect of previous behaviour.
• Feeling Victorious: Some guys and girls have the habit of pulling back when they feel that the other person has fallen for them. Usually guys do this more, they just like the hunting game and so the excitement ends when they feel that the other person has fallen for them.
• Getting Programmed by Friends: Any guy or girl who goes through these experiences usually tells them to all of his close friends in order to know their opinion about it. If that person was not confident enough about the situation, his friends could easily convince him that she does not like him and that the way she treats him is a normal way that carries no hidden meanings. This convinces him of her indifference and so he starts to pull back

The worst situation that could ever happen is when both love each other, yet both start to withdraw because of doubts. This ends the relationship before it even begins, even though both loved each other!!!

My advice to avoid all these problems is simple: know that in many situations (like the above-mentioned ones) the person could pull back a little. You shouldn’t be affected by these pull backs, you just need to keep a record of the positive signs and accumulate them. Once you feel that you have seen enough to be confident of his/her feelings towards you, be brave and tell him/her.

I know you may be afraid to do that because of any negative signs you have seen from them, but the truth is, when both positive and negative signs appear together you should just disregard the negative signs , because the person may force himself to act this way for a number of reasons but will not be able to prevent his subconscious mind from dropping a true sign every time you approach him/her again.

Love signs! (part II)

this articles continues from the first part of love signals, here more other signals.. red it, then decide whether it is true or not. tell me if you never doing this when you like someone

• Identifying with the person:Phrases like “Hey, you know what? Your personality is very close to mine”, “Me too!! I adore orange juice” or "Sarah and I both hate physics" are perfect examples of someone who is trying to identify with someone else. Usually when someone falls in love, he tries to identify with the person he loves and this can be noticed by paying close attention to the phrases that he/she is using.

• Watch for the eyebrow: touching your eye brow with one finger then passing your finger along it to the side has no other meaning other than that you have evaluated something positively. If a person always sees someone in a positive light, you'll be able to know by watching his body language.
• Looking for any excuse to talk about him/her: When someone falls in love with someone else, he/she usually feels eager to talk about that person and so tries to find any excuse to mention the person's name in front of others even if the excuse was making fun of him!!! For example: “you know, I think Sarah is really weird..”
• Frequency of moving her hair: When a girl moves her hair backwards using one hand so that she reveals her ear, this usually means that she is interested in the person she is talking/listening to. If this is repeated several times while talking to a specific person, this could mean she is extremely interested in him or, in other words, she is in love with him.
• Being anxious when being with him/her: Almost everyone cares very much about the impression that the person he loves forms of them and as a result they tend to be very anxious in the presence of that person, especially on first meetings. So you may be asking yourself, how do you know if he/she is anxious? i cant help this, but i believe you will find it yourself. just put yourself in his position.
• Minding his own business “You know what, I think you'd look really good wearing a red shirt.” The previous phrase is a perfect example of a girl who is in love with a guy. Although there was no reason for her to talk about his dressing style, she just couldn’t resist the urge to make him look better, and this goes for any types of advice that may improve anything in his life.
• Hyper-activity: Do you notice how you behave right after you meet the person you love? If the meeting went well then you'll most probably notice that you have become hyperactive; doing things that you usually don’t do and saying things that you usually don’t say. This hyper-activity can be a very good indication of whether someone is in love with someone else or not.

the signals as i mentioned may not be true. don too rely on it. think yourself and ask more people about it. what i write based on my observation and reading. human are different and the signals may vary. if you feel that what i write is true then leave me a comment.

how to know if someone is lying?

Suppose that you went to a friend of yours with a fake smile on your face, and then told him that you were sad, would he believe you?

No, he would never believe you because he can see the smile on your face; in other words, he has noticed the inconsistency between what you are saying and your facial expression.

You might think "Nobody smiles when appearing to be sad” and you'd be right on that, but I’m not talking here about conscious inconsistencies; I’m talking about unconscious ones.

Your subconscious mind controls many of your involuntary functions like that of breathing, sweating, heart-beating....etc. when someone attempts to lie they usually control their facial expressions and tone of voice, but their unconscious mind still controls all other involuntary signals like body language and respiration rate. These unconscious signals are what we will be using to detect if they are lying; if their words are consistent with their unconscious signals then they are saying the truth otherwise, they are lying.

The following are signs you should look for when attempting to spot a liar:

• Body Language: Liars usually hide their palms and don’t sit straight while telling a lie. They also avoid eye contact at the time of the lie and generally use negative evaluation gestures if they feel bad while lying
• Eye Accessing Cues Mismatch: The direction the eye takes reflects the function taking place in the brain at the time. For example, looking towards the upper left side means that you are constructing an image in your mind while looking at the upper right side would mean that you are recalling an image. How can that be of use? Well, think about it, if someone looks towards the upper left when asked about something, he's probably constructing an image of the lie he's about to tell. This is just one sign that he might be lying.
• Inconsistencies in the Story: In different places and times, the story is more likely to change every single time it is discussed. He will forget a word, add something completely new, or remove something that he had previously mentioned. Regardless of the type of inconsistency, it shows he is lying.
• Feeling Anxious: Almost anyone who lies feels anxious, with various degrees depending on how professional the liar is. One of your concerns should be trying to spot his state of anxiety; talk as much as you can about the subject in order to keep him anxious.
• Avoiding the Subject: A person who wants to hide something will usually try to avoid bringing it up in the conversation or even talking about anything remotely related to it. Try to talk about anything related to the situation without addressing it directly and see if he tries to jump out of it into another topic.
• Lack of Assertiveness: Unless that person is a special agent who is professionally trained to lie, he will usually lack of assertiveness while lying. His tone of voice will be lower and he will appear to be less confidence
• Speaking Slowly: When lying, the person will usually be making up events as he goes along, which will result in slower speech or even several complete stops to think about what he's about to say.

It's very important to know that there are many other variables involved in this process. Thus, I suggest that you use these methods for decision support and not for sole judgment of others. For example, if you suspect that someone is lying, you should then start to see if any of these signs are present; of course the more signs you find, the more likely that person is lying.

Love signs!

If someone loves you or if he/she is extremely interested in you most probably they won't tell you directly until they make sure of your emotions. But behind the scenes their subconscious will keep sending you signals without them even noticing that they're actually doing so.

All what I am going to do is tell you about those unconscious signs so that you could use them to know whether someone loves you or not. actually this signs may be not true, but it is usual signs that people always show when they interested in others. they cant help it, although they eventually try to hide these;)

these are the signs:

Private distance : keep a smaller private distance between you and him/her compared to the distance you would otherwise keep while being with others. You will notice that whoever might be interested in you is standing closer to you than to other people.

Smiles that Don’t Fade: A smile will not fade away quickly if the person is genuinely interested in you (that does not have to be love but worst case scenario, it will be deep interest). Only fake smiles fade away quickly, true smiles stay tend to linger a little longer. or, Smiling while talking to you even if there was no good reason for smiling is another strong sign. In most cases he/she will try to hide the smile so they will appear as if they want to smile but are holding themselves

Calling for No Reason: Calling you for any trivial reason like asking about something that he/she already knows or by just seeking confirmation to some kind of information. If they were smart enough, they may find a good reason to call you but when the frequency of these calls increases, this usually indicates that there is something behind it.

Nice or Cold? Being very nice one day and ignoring you the other day is one of the strongest sings. The logic behind this is very simple, at the beginning he/she treats you very nicely because they like you but when they go home they realize: “Oh my God, I did show lots of signs today that am interested but I still got no response, tomorrow I should totally ignore him/her.” So when you find someone being nice one day and cold the other day know that the positive signs he/she gave you may be due to positive emotions they hold for you and that the negative signs may just be a way to cover their traces.

Where Are You? Finally the person who loves you will try to keep you within their range of sight and each now and then they will take a look to make sure that you are still there.

do you doing this when you interested in someone?

welcome!

I'm not gonna update my old blog, after having little trouble with the so called HTML code. huh! people told me reading that codes as easy as reading an ABC book. but i didn't find it true.. experimenting too much now cost me. there are a lot of tips in that blog that i found really useful, for anyone to practice. so i'm gonna re-post it again here,(only selected) so new readers will not left behind.