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Sunday, December 28, 2008

How to deal with a stubborn person

It has been a long time since my last up date, almost 2 months. Actually i always work during my semester holiday but this time because of the world economic crisis may be, it was hard for me to find a job. i just spending most of my times watching TV and reading. Those books that i'd read were very interesting, i will share what i had learned later. Here, i will continue to talk about dealing with difficult people. Stubborn people!

Sometimes its good to be stubborn depend on the situation and intention. but being extremely stubborn, selfish and ignore others feeling is bad. i got a story to tell here, it always happens!

While Ali was working hard on an assignment due in two days, he got a call from one of his friends on his cell phone. As he was really busy but about to finish the assignment, he decided not to answer now and call his friend back in ten or fifteen minutes.

A moments later, Ali's mobile started ringing again: it was the same friend calling. Ali didn’t reply for the second time too. When his friend called for the third time, Alli switched his cell phone off without replying and decided that he would not answer anyone else's phone calls for the rest of the day.

Although Ali finished the assignment 10 minutes later, he decided to keep his phone switched off so as not to allow anyone to call him!!! But wasn’t he intending to call his friend after he finishes his assignment? Even though that was true in the beginning, his friend's insistence on calling him triggered Ali's stubbornness and so he decided not to answer calls for the entire day!!

A stubborn person is someone who refuses to change his mind about an idea or an action that he is about to take. He also refused to give a clear explanation or reason for his resistance. The main aim of including the above story is to show you that a stubborn person may not always be stubborn, but there are things that could trigger his stubbornness and so cause him to become even more fixed on his own point of view while refusing to even consider someone else's.

In a book i read, there are 3 main reasons for a person being stubborn. While the following reasons can possibly make someone behave stubbornly in certain situations, there are also people who are stubborn by nature and so would resist change regardless of the situation.

  • Defending his idea: Some people tend to feel that if their ideas are abandoned, then they are unimportant!! They identify themselves with their ideas and so feel that their identity will be threatened if people aren’t convinced by what they are saying.
  • Feeling that people are taking his opinion for granted: Some people tend to think that other's take their approval or consent for granted and so they try to hold on to opposing opinions just to have themselves taken into consideration even if they were convinced that what they're saying isn't right.
  • Having a reason that he can't reveal: Sometimes a stubborn person may have a strong reason for refusing to change his mind but be prevented from declaring this reason out of shyness or any other compelling reason.
In How To Influence People, the author stated very simple ways to deal with this types of people, simply by:

  • Don’t keep insisting and be flexible. As you saw in the above story, insisting may result in a counter-productive effect.
  • Try to understand the reason behind that person’s stubbornness and encourage him to speak honestly since after all, he may have a point.
  • Every now and then make him feel that you are taking his opinions into consideration.

Everyone hates how stubborn people refuse to give up their ideas or intentions. If you are a stubborn person, try to provide a convincing reason for refusing to change your mind and if you don't, gracefully admit that you were wrong.

I got a good tip here, if you were in a relationship with a stubborn person then by just triggering his stubbornness you can motivate him to love you more. By just telling him that people think that your relationship will end soon he will do his best to prove them wrong and so he will love you more.;)

1 comment:

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