Dealing With Your Over Sensitive Friend

I have discussed about over sensitive person and how to deal with your own emotional sensitivity. What if, you are not over sensitive but may be your friend, partner, parent or people that important to you are over sensitive? As i told you over sensitive persons are fragile and must ' handle with care', they may not beat you if you not handle them with care( hurt them) this is because most of over sensitive person hate physical approach or violence very much. One fact that you should know that their emotional wound are hard to be healed, they may hate you for a long time, may be forever if they are an extreme over sensitive person;)
If you have an over sensitive partner and you didn’t get the idea that he is over sensitive many problems may arise, and this relation could even end up with your partner being broken.

If you want to win the over sensitive person as a friend or if you want to keep your relation going on with your over sensitive partner then follow these guidelines whenever you communicate with him/her:

• never be harsh: the over sensitive will do his best to avoid harsh people, if you do shout a lot or if you are a little violent in dealing with people then make sure that you wont get along with the over sensitive.

• make minimal critic comments: well I didn’t say avoid criticism at all because I know that sometimes it becomes a must however do your best not to be constantly criticising the over sensitive person, the more you criticize him the more he will avoid you.
• never use physical violence: when it comes to violence in physical activities the over sensitive will not only do his best to avoid you but he may hate you too, even if this violence were some sort of kidding still the over sensitive hates using hands or legs even when playing.
• be a nurturing partner: the more kind and nurturing you will be the more you will be loved by the over sensitive person.
• be more Romantic: the over sensitive thinks with his emotions when it comes to relationships, the more romantic you become the more the over sensitive will love you.

How to know that your friend is an over sensitive person? Other than finding your partner getting annoyed frequently because of small causes and other than finding him hating criticism, he/she may excel in art or poetry.

Dealing With Your Emotional Sensitivity

How to deal with your emotional sensitivity? If you feel sad because your emotional sensitivity is causing you much pain in your life, you may get relieved to know that it's very easy to use the advantages of being overly sensitive while the same time increating barriers that can diminish the disadvantages of being over sensitive.

First of all, do you know that being overly sensitive makes you have the following:

• Increased empathy: have you ever felt sad without any apparent reason by just sitting with someone who was sad? do you feel depressed when just sitting beside a depressed person even if he didn't talk? Probably yes and this is because you have increased empathy, you can know how people around you feel without having them say that.Empathic ability is a normal ability that each human being have but the overly sensitive person have got much higher advantage in using this ability.
• You will experience happiness more than the normal person experiences it because emotions get deeper to you than other people
• Usually sensitive people are very creative and that what can make you excel in your career or even make you develop good habits like drawing or writing poetry. Lots of artist are sensitive people
• Experiencing religious related emotions may be higher for the sensitive person than its for people whom are not sensitive, this may cause the emotionally sensitive person to commits to religious activities,to become more connected to religion relative to others or even end up as a religious leader

All of the previous were the advantages you have as an emotionally sensitive person over others, now onto how to make your sensitivity have a minimal impact on your life:

• First of all know that the words that can hurt an emotionally sensitive person does not hurt unless he views those words as insulting, or as having the meaning that he is an unworthy person. So by changing your view of the criticism you receive can reduce your response much to being criticized. For example, when someone tells you that you didn't play well today at the match, this doesn't mean that you are a bad player, this doesn't mean you are a failure and this doesn't mean you are worthless! It's not the words that did hurt you, it's the meaning that you did tie to the words.
• This brings us to point two, what can cause your view of the criticism you receive to be that bad? Usually its your negative self talk, negative self talk are the words or the phrases that you use while thinking. example of negative self talk phrases are "I know why he said so, because I am a looser" or "I knew that I am not up to the standard that's why she told me so". Lacking self-confidence is one of the major factors that can make you have a negative self talk and so get hurt by anything that you hear. By building self confidence and changing your negative self talk, you won't be removing your sensitivity but instead you will be changing your perspective of what you hear and of criticism and so you won't get hurt.
• Giving up perfectionism, perfectionism is the way of thinking that considers life is perfect and that you should be perfect in turn, based on that you may think that all people should praise you, that everyone should say good and encouraging words to others, that everyone is kind .....etc. This kind of thinking causes you to get hurt whenever you find that life is not as you expected. Face the reality and know that perfectionism is a bad and unrealistic of thinking .
• Finally you can use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy(CBT ) to change your method of thinking and so avoid triggering your sensitivity. CBT is a method of therapy that is very easy to apply, it's based on the concept that your emotions are triggered because of your way of thinking and so by changing your thoughts you prevent triggering those unwanted emotions.(i had written on CBT last month, find it, very useful one)

i hope this article will help any over sensitive person out there, just believe in yourself and change the way of thinking and can be really helpful, i strongly suggested that you use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy(CBT) as it really easy and efficient.

Life Of An Over Sensitive Person

Over sensitive people are more likely to have bad moods, to get depressed and to be moody because their mode changes whenever any small event happen. An emotionally sensitive person is like a fragile person, or a person who is labeled "handle with care". The biggest problem is that people don't have enough knowledge sometimes to realize that they are dealing with an emotionally sensitive person and so they may cause him lots of pain without realizing this. A good thing that you can do in this case is to use the technique called "locking the emotions" in order to extend the periods of feeling happy. This technique is based on a realistic assumption which implies that a great number of mood swings happen simply because we tend to persistently search and dig until we find something that makes us feel bad. So, stop doing that.

In a relationship, Over sensitive people have hard time getting over the persons they loved simply because they feel the pain that results from a breakup in an exaggerated way. In my past articles about recover from break up i told you how small actions like stopping listening to romantic songs, burning the old pictures and preventing yourself from visiting the places you both used to go to together can help you recover fast even if you were an over sensitive person.

In daily life, over sensitive person may easily get emotional wound that is very difficult to be healed. For instance, if you tried to put some water on a fresh wound you will feel pain, that’s because when we develop a wound we tend to become over sensitive to factors that didn’t use to harm us before, And the same goes with emotional wounds, being rejected by people around you, lacking self confidence and having self image problems are all examples of unhealed wounds that can make you over sensitive to things that others just don’t notice.

However, there are still many good criterias for an over sensitive person that others should know, first he feels people’s suffering more than anyone else and so in most cases he tends to be a nice and friendly person. If you know how not to hurt a sensitive relationship partner then he will be a very good choice, emotionally sensitive people are the least problematic persons around. In addition, emotionally sensitive people usually have creative abilities which sometimes make them excel at arts or poetry.

In sum, There are many ways that can help you deal with your over sensitivity but most of them root to one source, changing your way of thinking and your perception of situations. After all if you are over sensitive you wont feel bad when being hurt unless you have perceived the situation that happened as a bad one, if you managed to change your way of thinking you will be able to reap the benefits of emotional sensitivity and avoid its drawbacks. i wish to discuss more about how to deal with your emotional sensitivity in my next article.

Over Sensitive person

people should know if they are over sensitive type of person, some people that i have known trying to pretend to be tough, but deep inside they are very sensitive emotionally. they got hurt easily, thats the fact. those people that emotionally sensitive have trained themselves, i praised them for that. you know what, i used to be very sensitive in the past but from time to time I'm getting tougher. that's always my mind that help me to overcome this. For all the people that emotionally sensitive, First you must realize and accept the fact that you are over sensitive, and that your over sensitivity is unwanted in your life. only by doing so you can be tougher then, as i told you so many times to overcome a problem you must know the reason first.

Some people do not realize that they are over sensitive, they thought their emotions are stable and normal. Let me help you to find if you are over sensitive or not, just answer the questions below;

• Do you get hurt by some words or comments that are told to you about your personality?
• are you unable to tolerate criticism?
• Do you hate loud noise or loud music?
• Do you feel other people's pain and suffering more than anyone else?
• Are you slim or your body is smaller in size than peers?
• Do you stop for more than three minutes when you see an accident on the street in order to watch?
• Do you find it very high to tolerate high or low temperatures?
• Do you find it very hard to gain muscles by working out?
• Do you have lots of mood swings as a result of small events?

If your answer were yes to some of the previous questions then probably you are an over sensitive person. The life of an over sensitive person is much different than the life of other people, simple because the over sensitive person feels the pain in an exaggerated way and so has problems tolerating it. the over sensitve person forms anchor faster than anybody else, for example if he had a real bad experience in a place than his hometown , after he gets back he may hate the place as a whole because in that case he anchored the pain he felt to the place.

A book that i read defined over sensitivity as being over affected by an external influence that can hardly affect normal people, for example not being able to tolerate Constructive criticism that other people normally tolerate.

i got a lot to share under this topic as sometimes to the extent of a frustrating event, i still got hurt easily.. need more training i guess;)