why do things never work for you?

why you always fail? disappointed? you try very hard but still didn't reach your goal.. well, i just want to share stories of great peoples that learn from their failure to get more..

Thomas Edison failed nine hundred ninety nine times before he succeeded at inventing the lamp. On the 1000th trial!!! When he was asked how he managed to continue trying in spite of failing all those times, he told them: "Whenever it didn't work, I would never say that I failed. I just say that I've found another incorrect way to make the lamp".

Another story regarding sports, it was previously thought that a man can never run a mile in less than 4 minutes. That belief was there for years, that no one ever dared to doubt its correctness. That was until Roger Banister proved that this was not true, by running a mile in less than 4 minutes. Just after that in the same year another 37 runners broke the record, followed by hundreds later.
What's interesting here is that if anyone of those runners had tried hard enough before Banister, he could have done it. But they all gave up to the belief and didn't try enough times because they thought trying was useless in this case. "Why bother with something impossible ?" they thought.

More examples: Henry Ford lost all of his fortune 6 times, and each time he did bounce back and rebuild his empire.
Walt Disney's idea of creating a cartoon character called "Mickey Mouse" was rejected more than 5 times, until he managed to find someone who supported the idea and then Mickey came to life.
English novelist John Creasey got 753 rejection slips before he published 564 books.

Actually, i feel very bad because earlier today i failed to answer my exam paper according to what i'd expected. i didn't know how to answer a question that should be given me 30 marks. That caused a lot to my result, i don't even sure whether i can pass that paper or not. i was totally disappointed that's why i read stories about people that learn from their past failure, i hope i can learn something from this mistake. Billy Lim, Writer of the book Dare To Fail said, 'you will never be successful unless you had experienced the failure.' Think about it!

What Is Self?

What is self?

Who are you?

What are you about?

What are your core values and beliefs?

What do you love to think about?

Self is who you are inside.

You have to understand this self.

If you don't understand your Self, how can you have faith in
yourself?

How will you have direction in your life?

If you don't fully understand yourself, there are
hundreds...maybe thousands...of messages hammering you each
day from media and the people in your life. These messages
will define you instead unless you understand yourself.

You want to reach your destination rather than be tossed
about like a ship without a sail.

Start taking time to get to know yourself.

Learn to enjoy your own company.

And...dare I say it...fall in love with yourself.

Then you will have the confidence that will carry you
forward.

So get to know your Self.

Sometimes outside encouragement is helpful.

Growing to your Maximum Potential; How?

many people that I've known didn't reach their true potential because they under estimate their own potential, as the result, the accept any decision about their performance as the best that they can do.

i have a story about how other people make your life stagnant and do not grow to your maximum potential. this story is for example only; the life of Epoi
When Epoi was 15, everyone told him that he would never get straight A's in PMR(our local exam) When he became 17, everyone told him that he won’t get excellent results in SPM and would never get a place in a college. When he reached 19, his friends told him that it’s almost impossible to find a good job. When he approached 21, his close friend told him that he will never be a millionaire and has to choose between his career and his hobby because no one can keep both together. And when he became 22 , another person told him that there is another thing that he cant do and when he became 23 the same happened, it kept happening as he kept growing.
Epoi now has very well defined limits for his, skills, abilities and potential. The only problem is that he never defined these limits; the people around him are the ones who defined them for him. His friends, His family and his colleagues limited his potential, by convincing him that he can’t do lots of things.

you can see, how many negative words use in the story, the words that actually make epoi didn't grow to reach his true potential.

I didn’t say that one person was bad enough to fill Epoi’s mind with all these false ideas, but what happened is, each person convinced him that he cannot do one thing And the result was thinking that he can’t do hundreds of things!!

Now you may be asking, what if those people were right?
What’s really funny is, when someone tells you that something is impossible, its usually because he couldn't do it himself. i got a lot of examples, but i know you can find them yourself. It goes like this, if someone failed to do something he will tell you that its impossible, And if someone was unhappy he will tell you that happiness is an illusion. Everyone talks about himself and thinks that its the real world. thats it!

So what im going to do? Stop letting people define your potential for you. you are the one that controll your ability not them. you can just ignore the words, or tell them that you believe can be better than them or just take their words as a challenge, thats what i always do.

Self Discipline.

What is Self Discipline? self discipline is controlling your self and mastering your emotions in such a way that you may prevent yourself from doing something that you like for the sake of a future benefit , for example preventing yourself from online or watching Tv in order to have a good result in your exam. self discipline is positive attitude that we must have in order to reach our goals. if you had studied Economy before, you must be familiar with the term 'opportunity cost'. it is almost the same, if we want to get something we must sacrifice something. in short, self-discipline is going against your emotions and desires so that you can reach your goals.

Developing self-discipline can be done by practice, so the more you resist your emotions and take unemotional decisions the more disciplined you will become. Similarly, the more you let your emotions control the decisions you take, the weaker your self-discipline will become. You must build your discipline on an activity by activity basis and not in a general form. However, although your activities are separate, they still affect each other.

Simply put, developing self-discipline will let you achieve the goals that you have set yourself regardless of any other factors. Even though different situations and external circumstances will affect your mood, your emotions play no role in your decision making because you are disciplined. In addition to that, think of all the bad habits that you could kick if you develop and increase your self-discipline.

however, i know developing self discipline is far tougher than setting a goal itself. thats why i said, practice, practice, more practice. me myself not a self disciplined person in many things, self discipline is not a talent, it comes when together with work hard, determination, and willingness to sacrifice.

why am i writing this? just want to motivate myself to study;)

Motivation and Goal Setting

people need goal to reach their maximum potential. if you used to read motivation books, you must already known that success is all about reaching your maximum potential. the fact is, no one can achieve their dreams without setting a specific goals.

why would your mind bother to send you motivation signals while it finds that there is no reason for doing so. If you are going to sacrifice some of your resources like your time or your money you must have something big that you are after else you won't be motivated at all to do anything.

Not having goals is the worst thing someone can experience. Some people commit suicide because they don't know what to do here, they are bored and lost(sounds unlogic, but its true) Having goals makes your life challenging, full of events, and joy when you reach them.

It have been proven that people whom have written goals are much more motivated than people who don't have plans at all, simply because on writing your plan, you are telling your subconscious mind that you are serious about doing that activity so it will help you by making you motivated.

well, motivation and goal setting is a nice topic to be discussed, i have a lot of things to write. but im in real busy day now. i have to study for my final exam first then, i will share more with you about this topic soon.

recently, i talked about setting a SMART goal.
(P/S : i forgot to mention there, it is more efficient if you write it down than just setting it in your mind.)

some tips before final exam

i think all people know this, our life need goals; long term or short term. specifically this post for students that are waitin for their final exam. I believe its not too late for you to set a goal for your 'comin soon' final exam. if you are an uitm student, you still got about 10 days. anything can happened within this period of time. im goin to share some tips in setting short term goal. it is not only for your final exam but also for you entire life. people know that they should have goals in life, but how to set SMART goals? here are some tips:

• Specific : A goal should be specific and not vague. An example of a vague goal is like writing “I want to get a good result”. What do you mean by the word good? get 3pointer or just pass all papers? you should make it more specific.
  
• Measurable ; If your goals were not specific then most likely they wont be measurable. In order for a goal to become measurable you must have some kind of indicator that you can use to track your achievements. For example if your goal is to get CG 3.5 then it’s a measurable goal.
• Achievable: Your goal should not be very easy to achieve so that you feel like fooling yourself nor it should be very difficult so that you fail to achieve it. The goal should be challenging enough to let you use most of your resources to reach it yet it shouldn’t be an impossible goal. you should know your potential, if you got low marks for test or assignment, your carry marks are 15/40 then your goal is to get four flat.. is it possible for you?
  
• Realistic: The goal should be realistic, and what’s meant by realistic is that it should be something that can be done by a normal human being.
• Timely: Unless you set deadlines for your goals you will never become motivated to start working on them. Setting the deadline is the signal that your mind needs in order to start cooperating with you towards reaching your goals.

urmm.. i set my goal, how about you?

the deadline: final exam! start study now!

urmm.. time is running out, the clock ticks fast. most of the student at this state of time will stress, arghh! still not study!.. i got too much to study!, i dont even understand a single things! paper for this sem is difficult! im afraid i will fail!etc.. we always listen to such lines every night and day near the final exam. but you know the amazing thing is? most people saying such words before they start to study. they say, im not ready yet, im waiting for the mood to come... actually the mood will never come if you keep saying im waiting for the mood to study. it will only come when you are in real pressure.

for instance, 5 days before the paper.. you say, i feel like dont have any mood today. i will start study tomorrow. then tomorow, your friends ask you to watch movie, bowling etc. you go with them. at night you tired, but you still want to study so you take a book readin it for a while and feel sleepy ;your mind say, urmm there is still time: tomorrow! tomorrow you sit at the desk reading books but there are so much noise from your friends and the TV, they distract you and attract you to join them. urmm, only for a while.. there is still tomorrow. im not in the mood today:) so tomorrow, 2 days before the paper you dont have enough time to think about the mood anymore. you are under real pressure. so you study the whole night without having the mood to study.

you can make your own decision when to study, but if you waiting for the mood it will never come. so dont delay your study. you know what, thinking the reason not to study is tiresome, more than studying itself.

What is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy(CBT)

i found this type of therapy is very easy to apply and it really works for me to recover from break up, for people dont know about this useful therapy, in this article i will explain it briefly
Cognitive Behavior Therapy idea is built on the assumption that your emotions are caused by your thoughts in addition to your perception of the external influence and so your behavior will be based upon your emotions, for example, if someone pointed a pistol at you, you will first think that if he did shoot then you are going to die which is perceived as a great danger and so you will feel afraid, so cognitive behavior therapy concept implies that it's your thoughts that causes you to feel afraid and not the external influence.

CBT is one of the fastest methods you could use to change many behavioral patterns and unwanted emotions by simply changing your thoughts. Some of your thoughts/emotions/behaviors can turn into a self reinforcing cycle that brings unwanted emotions into your life, for example, if you thought that you are a looser, and perceived this as something bad most probably you won't approach people the same way that you would have used if you didn't think you are a looser, and on approaching people that way, people may start to actually reject you, and so the belief of being looser gets reinforced.

What you can do here is use CBT concepts to break this cycle, by either questioning your irrational belief of being a looser or by acting as if you are not one. Both acts will break the cycle of reinforcement of the irrational belief. You can use CBT to deal with many unwanted behaviors like anger, anxiety, fear, being self conscious and even depression.