Relationship: Openness or Honesty?

In relationships, some people hide small details from their partners just because they didn’t ask them about it, or just because they think that it might not be important to them. Those people think that they are honest and that they are doing nothing wrong but the problem that happens is that they ruin their relationships without noticing that they are doing something wrong.

These people mistakenly confuse openness with honesty, thinking that they are the same thing. Honesty is saying the truth whenever their partner asked for it, openness is saying the truth without being asked for it. that's the differences between HONESTY and OPENNESS in a relationship.

i tell you how honesty alone will ruin your relationship;

1. When partners hide information from each other intimacy is lost
2. When partners hide information from each other the bond between them becomes weaker
3. When partners hide information from each other people can use it against them
4. When someone discovers that the other is hiding something it usually hurts him
5. If one of the partners faced a problem because of not being informed about some small details his partner knew earlier, he will accuse his partner of hiding information

how can openness strengthens the bond between you and your partner? it may prevent outsiders from influencing your relationship. Becoming open is so simple, just tell your partner about whatever you are feeling and whatever happened to you even If you think that it might bother him or that it might not be that important.

Sometimes, factors that ruin a relationship is not because you are not being honest, but your a not sharing everything with your partner.It might be hard, but as the time passes, i believe, you will discover the beauty of openness and the tremendous benefits that your relationship will gain.

why he pulled back?

in the previous articles i talked about the signs that some show when he likes you, so now i want to giving a reason, why someone that show all the signs make you feel that he likes you the suddenly pulled back? there are many reason behind this... have you ever been in situation as below:

Ever since the first time I met him, I felt that he was attracted to me somehow. Although I wasn’t sure of it, I just felt it. As the days passed he started to show more and more signs that he loved me until I was almost sure of it, however I still didn’t tell him that I felt the same.
Suddenly he changed and started to withdraw. I am really feeling bad and want to know why he did so. I want to know if he really loved me or if it was just my imagination. And if he did indeed love me, why is he pulling back now?

The previous paragraph is describing a frequent occurring event in our life: a guy approaches a girl, shows signs that he loves her then suddenly withdraws. Does this mean that he started to hate her? Of course not. Then what exactly happened? Below are the reasons for acting in such a way:

• Receiving No Response: When someone shows many signs that he is in love with someone else without getting any response or similar signs, he will start to feel hurt. Because of his dignity, he will feel that he has offered himself but got no response and so he may try to pull back. Testing whether this was the reason or not is very simple: you just have to have enough courage to take a strong step towards him/her and see what their response will be. Usually this strong step will encourage him/her to resume the positive signs again.
• Feeling that he/she Revealed too Much: This reason could be a special case of the one above. In that case, the person feels that he showed how he felt too much in a short period of time even though he is still not sure about the feelings of the other person, so as a counter measure he starts to pull back and even show negative signs, hoping to wipe the effect of previous behaviour.
• Feeling Victorious: Some guys and girls have the habit of pulling back when they feel that the other person has fallen for them. Usually guys do this more, they just like the hunting game and so the excitement ends when they feel that the other person has fallen for them.
• Getting Programmed by Friends: Any guy or girl who goes through these experiences usually tells them to all of his close friends in order to know their opinion about it. If that person was not confident enough about the situation, his friends could easily convince him that she does not like him and that the way she treats him is a normal way that carries no hidden meanings. This convinces him of her indifference and so he starts to pull back

The worst situation that could ever happen is when both love each other, yet both start to withdraw because of doubts. This ends the relationship before it even begins, even though both loved each other!!!

My advice to avoid all these problems is simple: know that in many situations (like the above-mentioned ones) the person could pull back a little. You shouldn’t be affected by these pull backs, you just need to keep a record of the positive signs and accumulate them. Once you feel that you have seen enough to be confident of his/her feelings towards you, be brave and tell him/her.

I know you may be afraid to do that because of any negative signs you have seen from them, but the truth is, when both positive and negative signs appear together you should just disregard the negative signs , because the person may force himself to act this way for a number of reasons but will not be able to prevent his subconscious mind from dropping a true sign every time you approach him/her again.

Love signs! (part II)

this articles continues from the first part of love signals, here more other signals.. red it, then decide whether it is true or not. tell me if you never doing this when you like someone

• Identifying with the person:Phrases like “Hey, you know what? Your personality is very close to mine”, “Me too!! I adore orange juice” or "Sarah and I both hate physics" are perfect examples of someone who is trying to identify with someone else. Usually when someone falls in love, he tries to identify with the person he loves and this can be noticed by paying close attention to the phrases that he/she is using.

• Watch for the eyebrow: touching your eye brow with one finger then passing your finger along it to the side has no other meaning other than that you have evaluated something positively. If a person always sees someone in a positive light, you'll be able to know by watching his body language.
• Looking for any excuse to talk about him/her: When someone falls in love with someone else, he/she usually feels eager to talk about that person and so tries to find any excuse to mention the person's name in front of others even if the excuse was making fun of him!!! For example: “you know, I think Sarah is really weird..”
• Frequency of moving her hair: When a girl moves her hair backwards using one hand so that she reveals her ear, this usually means that she is interested in the person she is talking/listening to. If this is repeated several times while talking to a specific person, this could mean she is extremely interested in him or, in other words, she is in love with him.
• Being anxious when being with him/her: Almost everyone cares very much about the impression that the person he loves forms of them and as a result they tend to be very anxious in the presence of that person, especially on first meetings. So you may be asking yourself, how do you know if he/she is anxious? i cant help this, but i believe you will find it yourself. just put yourself in his position.
• Minding his own business “You know what, I think you'd look really good wearing a red shirt.” The previous phrase is a perfect example of a girl who is in love with a guy. Although there was no reason for her to talk about his dressing style, she just couldn’t resist the urge to make him look better, and this goes for any types of advice that may improve anything in his life.
• Hyper-activity: Do you notice how you behave right after you meet the person you love? If the meeting went well then you'll most probably notice that you have become hyperactive; doing things that you usually don’t do and saying things that you usually don’t say. This hyper-activity can be a very good indication of whether someone is in love with someone else or not.

the signals as i mentioned may not be true. don too rely on it. think yourself and ask more people about it. what i write based on my observation and reading. human are different and the signals may vary. if you feel that what i write is true then leave me a comment.

how to know if someone is lying?

Suppose that you went to a friend of yours with a fake smile on your face, and then told him that you were sad, would he believe you?

No, he would never believe you because he can see the smile on your face; in other words, he has noticed the inconsistency between what you are saying and your facial expression.

You might think "Nobody smiles when appearing to be sad” and you'd be right on that, but I’m not talking here about conscious inconsistencies; I’m talking about unconscious ones.

Your subconscious mind controls many of your involuntary functions like that of breathing, sweating, heart-beating....etc. when someone attempts to lie they usually control their facial expressions and tone of voice, but their unconscious mind still controls all other involuntary signals like body language and respiration rate. These unconscious signals are what we will be using to detect if they are lying; if their words are consistent with their unconscious signals then they are saying the truth otherwise, they are lying.

The following are signs you should look for when attempting to spot a liar:

• Body Language: Liars usually hide their palms and don’t sit straight while telling a lie. They also avoid eye contact at the time of the lie and generally use negative evaluation gestures if they feel bad while lying
• Eye Accessing Cues Mismatch: The direction the eye takes reflects the function taking place in the brain at the time. For example, looking towards the upper left side means that you are constructing an image in your mind while looking at the upper right side would mean that you are recalling an image. How can that be of use? Well, think about it, if someone looks towards the upper left when asked about something, he's probably constructing an image of the lie he's about to tell. This is just one sign that he might be lying.
• Inconsistencies in the Story: In different places and times, the story is more likely to change every single time it is discussed. He will forget a word, add something completely new, or remove something that he had previously mentioned. Regardless of the type of inconsistency, it shows he is lying.
• Feeling Anxious: Almost anyone who lies feels anxious, with various degrees depending on how professional the liar is. One of your concerns should be trying to spot his state of anxiety; talk as much as you can about the subject in order to keep him anxious.
• Avoiding the Subject: A person who wants to hide something will usually try to avoid bringing it up in the conversation or even talking about anything remotely related to it. Try to talk about anything related to the situation without addressing it directly and see if he tries to jump out of it into another topic.
• Lack of Assertiveness: Unless that person is a special agent who is professionally trained to lie, he will usually lack of assertiveness while lying. His tone of voice will be lower and he will appear to be less confidence
• Speaking Slowly: When lying, the person will usually be making up events as he goes along, which will result in slower speech or even several complete stops to think about what he's about to say.

It's very important to know that there are many other variables involved in this process. Thus, I suggest that you use these methods for decision support and not for sole judgment of others. For example, if you suspect that someone is lying, you should then start to see if any of these signs are present; of course the more signs you find, the more likely that person is lying.

Love signs!

If someone loves you or if he/she is extremely interested in you most probably they won't tell you directly until they make sure of your emotions. But behind the scenes their subconscious will keep sending you signals without them even noticing that they're actually doing so.

All what I am going to do is tell you about those unconscious signs so that you could use them to know whether someone loves you or not. actually this signs may be not true, but it is usual signs that people always show when they interested in others. they cant help it, although they eventually try to hide these;)

these are the signs:

Private distance : keep a smaller private distance between you and him/her compared to the distance you would otherwise keep while being with others. You will notice that whoever might be interested in you is standing closer to you than to other people.

Smiles that Don’t Fade: A smile will not fade away quickly if the person is genuinely interested in you (that does not have to be love but worst case scenario, it will be deep interest). Only fake smiles fade away quickly, true smiles stay tend to linger a little longer. or, Smiling while talking to you even if there was no good reason for smiling is another strong sign. In most cases he/she will try to hide the smile so they will appear as if they want to smile but are holding themselves

Calling for No Reason: Calling you for any trivial reason like asking about something that he/she already knows or by just seeking confirmation to some kind of information. If they were smart enough, they may find a good reason to call you but when the frequency of these calls increases, this usually indicates that there is something behind it.

Nice or Cold? Being very nice one day and ignoring you the other day is one of the strongest sings. The logic behind this is very simple, at the beginning he/she treats you very nicely because they like you but when they go home they realize: “Oh my God, I did show lots of signs today that am interested but I still got no response, tomorrow I should totally ignore him/her.” So when you find someone being nice one day and cold the other day know that the positive signs he/she gave you may be due to positive emotions they hold for you and that the negative signs may just be a way to cover their traces.

Where Are You? Finally the person who loves you will try to keep you within their range of sight and each now and then they will take a look to make sure that you are still there.

do you doing this when you interested in someone?