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Friday, October 17, 2008

recover from break up: believe the truth

Whether you have really loved someone or wether it was just a light attraction you will be relieved to know that there is a normal process of recovery for breakups,this process can be either very long or very short depending on how do you understand the idea behind the recovery process. Having an understanding of the recovery process can make you recover very fast on just committing to some simple practice.

The first stage of recovery process is denial. It's where you start to deny that this has happened and you find that it's very hard to accept the new reality. you wonder why she/he treated you like this although you love him/her very much. The second stage is anger where you feel angry about what happened, having feelings of anger towards your old partner, the third person or even towards the whole world.

The third step which is bargaining is the most dangerous one of all. It's where you try to do anything to get that person back while you know that you can't. Maybe you try to go to places he/she used to go to hoping that you may meet him/her there by coincidence pr maybe you start to use music to remember the good memories that you used to share together. if you can cover this and just follow your heart, it will drive you crazy. Then you move to stage four which is depression a feeling that you really wish things are back again while knowing that they can't. A feeling of regret along with very tiny pieces of hope, maybe a 3% percent hope and a 97% lack of hope. This combination makes you know it's impossible and so you get depressed.

Most of the problems people have with relationships recovery lie in between stage three and four. They get stuck there, they try to do anything to get him/her back. Whenever the phone rings he thinks this may be her, or vise versa. The more you stay at this stage the longer it will take you to recover. The key to recover fully is moving into the next step, by accepting that what happened is in the past, and that only the future can be controlled. By accepting that someone else could fill this gap. By accepting that you can get along alone. By stopping using music to remind you of moments at the past, By not letting the small seed grow into a tree, but instead, cutting the water supply. by reminding yourself, why you should be depressed and act like crazy because of someone that don't even appreciate yourself?Only then you will stand again, if not you will wait until a new relation appears and this may happen years later.

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